Decisions, Decisions

I'm stuck trying to make a tough decision. My training has NOT been going well. The longest distance I have run since my half marathon is 8 miles. My longest trail run has been 4. At this point, I don't think I can be ready for Flatrock by September. I'm just not sure I'm going to be able to pull it off. I don't want to do it if I'm going to be dragging myself across the finish line, which is what I think I would be doing.

Had I stuck to my training plan I think I would have been fine. The heat is just kicking my  butt though. I know, you are all sick of hearing me complain about the heat, but wow! It's hot! Yestererday I left my house at 5 am and it was already 78 degrees. And honestly, I think I have some kind of mental block going. For some reason I've convinced myself I can't run. Plus, I'm having some bathroom scheduling issues that affect my ability to finish a run. Good times, let me tell you! I'm pretty sure my husband was not thrilled yesterday when I called him at 6:00 to come pick me up because I had to go to the bathroom. Being the good man that he is, he drug himself out of bed and came to get me. He didn't even complain! Have I mentioned lately that he's the best husband ever?

So, if I don't do Flatrock what do I do? The good answer would probably be just run to run for a while, but I can't do that. At this point, if I don't have something to train for I'm not getting out of bed to run every day. I think I'm going to run the Salt City Run for the Rocks. This is the day after Flatrock would have been and is still 13.1 miles, but I think I can do that. I won't break any speed records, but that's no surprise. At this point, running 10 miles would be a huge accomplishment for me.

Anyway, I'm feeling like a wimp and a loser right now. I know scrapping my original plan for the trail run is the best choice right now, but I can't help feeling like a failure. I'm going to mull it over for a few days, hopefully get some more opinions, then I'm going to have to make a decision. Oh, and for the record, I'm not giving up on trail running. I really like it. I plan to throw in some trail runs from time to time, just not get too stressed about it.

Any opinions?

~Mel