I haven't updated my blog lately but I can assure you it's not because I've slacked off on my running. In fact, it is just the opposite. The weather has been pretty much perfect and I've been running a lot. I actually ran two of my highest ever mileage weeks this month. Then I was struck by illness and didn't run as much last week. I still ran 20 miles, so at least I didn't completely quit running. It actually amuses me that I am considering 20 miles a bad week when there were times over the summer that 20 would have been great.
Why am I running a lot you ask? Well, I want to be training for something. Confusing? Yeah, I'm confused about it too. Conflicted might be a better word. See, there is a race I really want to do but it's likely out of my reach this year. My plan is to follow a training plan as well as I can and see what happens. I will wait until the last minute to register. If the race fills up before I'm able to register then I guess that's a sign that I shouldn't do it.
The rational part of my brain keeps telling me I'm crazy. It's been saying that since week 1 of Couch to 5K though. I stopped listening to it a looooong time ago! The crazy part of my brain keeps telling me I can and should do it. In fact, my inner crazy person is wearing a cheerleading uniform and waiving pom poms around. She's also skinny and cute and has perfect hair. Why can't I look more like her?
My husband and kids are fully against me doing this race. Well, that's not completely true as I haven't told them about it. (Don't worry, my husband doesn't read my blog. He won't read this! He's completely horrified that I even have a blog.) So while they may not be against me doing this race in particular, they are fully against me doing any distance further than a 50K. That race was very much a stretch for them. They can't comprehend why I would want to do it and they worry about me. Their feelings are legitimate and I try my best to pay attention to them. I can't have them worrying about me all the time and I can definitely understand why they would. It's not fair to them to have to worry. If they continue to be against me running a distance over 50K I won't do it.
The reason I'm not really saying what I'm sort of but not really training for is because whether or not I do it is still so up in the air. I dislike feeling like a failure and if I tell everyone and then don't do it I would feel like I failed. So right now I'm following a training plan that very well might lead to nothing except exhaustion and aches and pains.