My Big, Fat Fail

I often have people tell me that they admire me, look up to me, etc. due to my running. While I love that, and it motivates me, I also fee like a fraud. First, I'm so new at running. It's scary when people ask me questions and really want to hear what I have to say. What if I say the wrong thing? What if they take my advice and get injured? Second, I'm really not that good at it. I will probably never talk about times on this blog because I'm slow. SLOW. It's ok, I'm only competing against myself, but it gets frustrating sometimes. I can run long distances, but I don't do it very well.

Enough about that. Let me tell you about my big fat running fail this weekend. I don't think it's fair to only tell you all about the good, so here you go. Like a good runner I got up at 5:30 so I could have something to eat, get dressed and get my long run of the week done before I go watch my kids play soccer. Before I tell you about this run, let me tell you what I did last Saturday. I ran 12 miles! That is why yesterdays run is so baffling to me I think. I checked the weather and realized the wind was out of the south. My plan was to run 7 miles. 3.5 of those would have been running south. No.Thank.You. I decided to alter my route. I let Rick know my plan so if I didn't come home he would know which ditches to check.

I start my run and am feeling kind of icky. Oh well, I'll get into it. Two blocks in I had to go to the bathroom. I had no intention of trying to hold it for 7 miles, so I turned around to go home. Thank goodness. I barely made it. Perhaps this is the time to mention you might find a little TMI in my blog from time to time :). Anyway, I get back on the road. After 1 mile I was miserable. My stomache wasn't feeling great and I felt like I was running through syrup. I went a little further. Still miserable. I decided to walk a minute. While walking I'm thinking "Really? I want to be this miserable for 6 more miles?" I decided it would get better. I started running again. Gah, did the syrup get thicker? I make it maybe 1/10 of a mile when I decided to just scrap it and go home. I did the walk of shame all the way home, feeling like  failure. I just kept thinking how people always say how great I am and what if they could see this? They would know the truth. I'm a fraud.

I'm mostly over that feeling, but doubt always creeps back in. I could probably come up with a bunch of excuses for why my run was bad, but the truth is, sometimes they're just bad. I'm hoping for a great run on Tuesday to make up for it. Oh, and next Saturday I'm supposed to run 13 miles! Anyone want to join me?

Quick update from the soccer games: Adam's team did not win, but Adam learned an important lesson about trying his hardest. Ryan's team won!

P.S. News on dog situation: Barking doberman barked at me 4 times Saturday, starting at 6:30 am. His owners should thank me since they probably don't have to use an alarm clock.

~Mel